I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
