you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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