Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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