so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just had sex on a roof
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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