i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
