Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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