At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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