That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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