Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
