i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
