im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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