hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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