I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
