And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize