I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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