We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
