Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize