I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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