I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
