You're so nebulous sometimes
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
