Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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