he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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