11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
