dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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