i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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