i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
