Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
