so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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