How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Of course I have a pirate flag
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
