I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
