Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
