I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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