she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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