you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
