this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
