how hairy? two words: wookie tits
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
