He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
