Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
