That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
