Having a random hookup so left but love u
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
