Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
