In the future we'll all be gay
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
