just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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