I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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