the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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