dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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