Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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