Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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