Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just gargled with NyQuil
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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