The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
