His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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