Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
