"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he fucked my hip out of place.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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