When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
