the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
