you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
