so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
