you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm like, not good at living.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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