he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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