I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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