well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Randomize
