That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
