I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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