She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
