On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
