Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
