Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize