Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
