i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
